3 Mistakes I See Single Mamas Make (That Keep Them Stuck in Survival Mode)

Let’s be honest, none of us signed up for this.

We’re thrown into the deep end, often dragging trauma, court paperwork, and a child or two along behind us. And still, somehow, we manage to swim.

But there are a few patterns I see over and over again, ones that keep single mums stuck in a cycle of burnout, second-guessing, and survival mode. This post isn’t about blame, it’s about naming what’s holding you back so you can finally step forward. I want to highlight these things for you so you can self-reflect and take action if you need to!

🚩 Mistake 1: Thinking Peace Means Silence

So many of us are taught to “keep the peace.”

Translation, stay small. Don’t speak up. Don’t rock the boat, even when you’re drowning.

But here’s the truth, silence isn’t peace. Peace is clarity. It’s boundaries. It’s being able to say “No” without explaining yourself for three paragraphs. When you stop confusing quiet with safety, everything changes.

✨ Want help holding boundaries without starting a war?

Grab your Courtsafe Comebacks free download here or get the SHUT. IT. DOWN. card deck for scripts you can actually use in the heat of the moment.

🚩 Mistake 2: Waiting to Feel “Ready” Before Taking Action

You don't need 'Closure'.

You don’t need to be healed.

You don’t need to feel fearless.

You just need to be done with the version of you that lets other people call the shots.

The toxic ex isn’t going to suddenly co-parent like a grown adult. The system isn’t going to suddenly become fully trauma-informed tomorrow. And your children? They’re not going to get younger while you figure it all out!

Start scared. Start unready. But start.

🎯 Need help figuring out your next step?

Book a strategy call and I’ll walk you through your exact situation with zero fluff.

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🚩 Mistake 3: Trying to Rebuild Life Without Tools

Trying to thrive without support is like trying to build IKEA furniture with your teeth. You can do it. But why would you?

If you’re:

• Repeating yourself endlessly in messages that get twisted

• Managing all the emotional labour of parenting and protection

• Feeling guilty every time you set a boundary…

Then you don’t need to be “stronger”, you need tools.

That’s why I created the Single Mama Academy. It’s where we go from surviving to strategising. Where you get access to scripts, plans, coaching, and a community that gets it.

🔐 Doors are currently closed, but if you know you need this NOW, reply here with ACADEMY and I’ll send you a private link to join.

💗 Real Talk

I know what it feels like to be the safe parent.

To constantly carry the weight of “what if they grow up and blame me for all of this?”

To wonder if you’re doing enough, being enough, protecting enough.

But staying in survival mode because it feels familiar? That’s not the legacy we’re leaving.

Every decision you make from here gets to be built on clarity, not fear.

💡 Little Extras to Make Life Easier

If you’re looking for simple, everyday things that help make solo parenting less chaotic, these are my go-to faves from my Amazon Storefront:

🧸 Sleep & Soothing Tools

📚 Emotional Literacy Books

🛁 Calm-Down Kits & Routine Helpers

Explore my full recommendations here → Shop The Single Mama Must-Haves